Just one stitch..

I’m putting the last border on the New Grand Puppy quilt. #1 picks her up Sunday so I have to wait until then to embroider the name. But it’s a two-day drive home so it will be ready before she gets here! I got a couple more throat widths done on the Bubble Quilt. First the background then the metallic thread. I am so happy I got the tension problem fixed! Quilting life is good here again!

Today is already stacking up to be one of those days! I took my other grand dog to get neutered this morning. It has my stomach so upset! I can’t pick him up until 3 pm. So today I’ll worry all day! Meanwhile I will quilt.. it is the only relaxing thing I can think of!

Also I spent some time with my Mom this morning.. it’s hard. Everytime I think it’s going to get better she slides back three steps. Everything that happens seems to be a personal attack on her worth as a person.  I’m frustrated trying to convince her that not only is she loved but she is lovable.

 Taking it one stitch at a time today.. hope your day is un-eventful!

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Repetition..

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Have you ever had to repeat yourself? No, I mean a lot, and for hours? Reality dictates that sometimes it is necessary to get your point across. You find different ways to say the same thing and each time it gets more believable or acceptable. That was my day yesterday.. and today, same thing. Actually I have about three days of going over the same three truths.

1. No more driving
2. You can’t live alone
3. Your husband is gone and does not want to come back

These truths really stink. It’s not a fun thing to talk about. There is no humor to be found. I’m a shock and awe kind of person so it was a hard day for me. I really prefer to just get stuff done but not everyone is that way, they need to think about things and then settle into them.

I love my mother. She has been my best friend for most of my adult life. She had such a sense of humor and fun that you couldn’t wait to spend time with her. Now she is going the opposite way.. yet I still see sparks of her in there.. I want her back! So I will continue to chip away at this until I find her and bring her back or.. well, honestly or else!

I’m resolute and I’ve got back-up on the way. My sister will be here in a few days. She’s the take charge person and much better suited for these type of things except that it’s like holding up a mirror between them.. they are almost identical in their stubbornness. My mother will fight it simply if she thinks it is what my sister wants done.

My sister and I used to fight over who got to have Mom live with them when she got older. It was such a competition that today it seems funny. Well just for the record.. I’m gonna win! I just hope I get the fun and funny Mom!

What ‘cha gonna do?

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Each day seems to have a remembrance. Some more emotional than others. But the older I get it seems there is something different that I can recall each day. Yep I’m that old!

Sunday is my oldest sons’ birthday. He turns twenty-eight years old. Yes the day he turned eighteen and had to register for the selective service was 2001. I don’t know anyone who was in New York that day, nor do I have any inspiring tales. I remember someone called and told me to turn on the television. Half the day was gone before I told my son happy birthday that day.

The more days I live through, the more I am in awe of. (shhh.. I just ended that sentence with a preposition) See, I even remember the weird stuff! Memory is a funny thing. We take it for granted and it frustrates us when we forget things. I forget a lot, I lose words or forget what I’m talking about mid-sentence. That drives my poor DH nuts! But I make up words and my family thinks that part is funny.

 Loads has been written about dementia, what it is, how it happens and even how to cope with living with someone who has it. Sorry but it doesn’t seem to soften the blow. I haven’t found any information that says “yep this, is what you do” to get through it. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and live through it. Just say the same thing twenty times without getting frustrated and smile. Walk outside, get in the car and scream my lungs out. Then go back in and smile.

I didn’t do that today. I didn’t smile or shut myself in the car. Today I didn’t do it right. I have to get better at this, it’s not going away. There is not a perfect formula and some days are just hard.

Finding joy in a quiet moment…

Miracles happen everyday!

Hummingbird in Ohio

Here is another Hummingbird picture I snapped while I was in Ohio. I was shocked that I got one of him sitting in the tree.

Miracles happen around us everyday! As most of y’all know my Dad (okay he’s my step Dad but to me he is so much more than that) is now in a rehab facility. One we did not want him to go to. But let me tell you .. he went from being a combative and non communicative patient to the life of the party! He went from not being able to hold a conversation to talking to everyone!  Okay, he doesn’t know where he is and not even his wife’s name but… he really seems to be enjoying himself. In the last twelve hours his blood sugar is now good and he can have ice-cream, his blood pressure is perfect and he has lost twenty pounds in one week!!

My Mom is taking it hard. “Why doesn’t he do that for me.”… but we have now found that it is common with Alzheimer’s patients to behave this way. He still has a few medical issues to deal with but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So now we need to concentrate on Mom. We have appointments throughout the next few weeks and she has to start eating. My brother has started helping and maybe I won’t have to get help from my sister who has always done so much. She can step back and be the back-up instead of the first line to call.

SEE?! Miracles! My step-sister ( I learned so much from her) went home today but in her wake I have the tools to get things done without having to call in my big sister (the one I share giggle fits with).. My big sister has always had to get the ugly stuff done but now I feel equip so she doesn’t have to be the bad guy all the time.

I did get a couple dozen one inch diamonds hand pieced while waiting for doctors. But I kept wondering how much more I could have gotten done if I had quilt in a box like http://quiltobsession.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/stormy-seas-6/ has set up! If only I was that organized! Maybe in my next life!

Tomorrow is another busy day. I’m hopeful I will get some more stitching done in the midst of everything else.

24 of 48

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I’ve spent 24 of the last 48 hours in the hospital with my step-dad. My mom thinks I’m mean because I keep making her eat and she doesn’t want to. I’m tired but she is just plain worn out. Alzheimer’s and dementia are cruel things to those that have to deal with it. He will be on a plane bound for Memphis on Monday. Twenty seven years ago he purchased a lifetime care policy at a Alzheimer’s care facility there.

Because we know what he wants to do it makes these decisions a little easier but they hurt just the same. He can’t tell us when he is in pain. We have to watch for signs. He doesn’t know he has broken his hip or that he has had surgery. Last night after we left he pulled a staple out.

The nursing staff is amazing. But I really don’t know what people who don’t have family that can take shifts helping do?

 This has been a difficult week but I know there will be more. Mom is left behind in Florida and he will be there in Tennessee. Her life has been as a caregiver for years now. She will have too much time on her hands. She has neglected herself for so long and it will be a climb to get her back to where she will take care of herself again.

I’m sad yet I still have hope. I find my joy in that.

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